Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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