I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
