The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
