i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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