Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
