See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
