Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
