Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
