FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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