Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
