i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
