it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
