if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
