Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
