Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
