Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
