i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
