oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
