i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
