i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
