That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
