Soap is not a condiment
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
