i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
