Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
