**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
