I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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