Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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