matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
