I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What a dumb baby whore.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize