Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
