Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
