I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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