so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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