No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
