Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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