i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
