dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Farmville is her only friend.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
