Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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