I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
