Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
