I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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