Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
