please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
