Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I touched a dick in church today
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
