does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
