his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
