did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
