try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
