are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
