He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
