R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Randomize
